Archive for November, 2008
The Bosses Daughter
Saturday, November 15th, 2008A guy starts a new job, and the boss says, “If you marry my daughter, Nell I’ll make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Mercedes, and a million dollar annual salary.”
The guy says, “What’s wrong with her?”
The boss shows him a picture, and she’s hideous.
The boss says, “It’s only fair to tell you, she’s not only ugly, she’s as dumb as a wall.”
The guy says, “I don’t care what you offer me, it ain’t worth it.”
The boss says, “I’ll give you a five million dollar salary and build you a mansion on Long Island.”
The guy accepts, figuring he can put a bag over her head when they have sex.
About a year later, the guy buys an original Van Gogh and he’s about to hang it on the wall.
He climbs a ladder and yells to his wife, “Bring me a hammer.”
She mumbles, “Get the hammer. Get the hammer,” and she fetches the hammer.
The guy says, “Get me some nails.”
She mumbles, “Get the nails. Get the nails,” and she gets him some nails.
The guys starts hammering a nail into the wall, he hits his thumb, and he yells, “Screw you nail”
She mumbles, “Get the bag. Get the bag.”
Truth in Advertising
Saturday, November 15th, 2008This Cartoon Says It All!
Truth in Advertising
Wrong Email Address
Saturday, November 15th, 2008A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong e-mail address…
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.
They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following Day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send a e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send E-mails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
PS. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!