Posts Tagged ‘Little Johnny’
Meet Little Johnny Again…..
Monday, June 15th, 2009The Polite way to Pee
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
’Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?’
Michael said, ‘Just a minute I have to go pee.’ The teacher responded by saying, ‘That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?’
Sherman said, ‘I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.’ ‘That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manner’s?’
Johnny said, ‘I would say: ’Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.’
The teacher fainted….
Little Johnny
Tuesday, March 17th, 2009
Little Johnny’s at it again…… A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’
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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’
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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44? ‘ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’
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Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him. ‘Little Johnny asked, ‘Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture ?’
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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom .’
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If this brightened your day, don’t let it stop here. Pass it on with a smile. Keep spreading the cheer! Pass on to your friends! They like Johnny too ya know!